Social Bloody Justice

Do ladies’ and gents’ drinks exist? In our politically-correct, social-justice-fuelled world, ladies and gentleman themselves, never mind their drinks, are fabrications according to much of the media and academia. All talk is fraught with whispering contempt. Binary is so 2017.

Curiously, marketers promote alcohol brands on very clear, traditional lines – ironically not very fluid. Advertisers have no qualms in appealing to their gender specific target market, and nobody seems to mind (yet), despite ever heightening senses of moral panic. With the completely transparent, vapid, virtue-signalling targeting the LGBT community in recent years, I wonder how long it will be. 

It puzzles me how many women quite happily order a 568ml bottle of Magners, yet when presented with an ice-filled pint glass i.e the appropriately sized vessel for the volume and style of liquid, are staggered by the (entirely imagined) insinuation they are anything short of a lady par excellence. Men are equally adapted at tripping into gender-based angst; my favourite cringe-inducing request being: “a Cosmopolitan, but not in a gay glass”.

My initial liberal, live and let live political outlook breaks down on closer inspection too. Whatever two consenting adults get up to in the privacy of their bedroom is just dandy with me – especially if I’m invited. However, a man ordering a Sex On The Beach? No, I am sorry. I have minimal levels of decency. I have a moral compass somewhere, and that is simply unethical. Although when females order the same monstrosity, it is merely disappointing – as opposed to downright perverted.

Conversely, when a lady asks specifically for the cheapest or strongest pint, truth be told, it raises a judgemental eyebrow – sue me. However, when a man wants the same, nobody bats an eyelid (I’m just silently disappointed). Call me old-fashioned, but picturing giddily enjoying creamy cocktails and women belching out phone numbers feels like a step backwards, even in Leeds.

Curiously, it’s specifically budget drinks which lock us into clearly defined camps. Are budget beverages are the last bastion of bigotry…possibly? Typically, when watching the pennies, men aggressively down cheap pints of lager and females get lippy from screw-top Zinfandel. Paint stripper vodka is sufficiently androgynous to be fair game for any substance abuser. Follow the rules and one’s behaviour is normalised; at worst, frowned upon. Switch camps, especially for men, and you’re as popular as a paedophile in a playground. 

Is it something to do with the purchasing of premium products that comes with a sense of confidence into not being pigeon-holed? 

I do think it’s a question of quality (not expense). A quality drink breaks down boundaries of gender. While sipping a premium pour, marketing nonsense fades from consciousness and we forget ourselves. The product itself connects us together through taste – stirring emotion – without words. Brits of all genitalia ownership love cheap booze, but we can come together at the altar of quality, without fear of discrimination or ridicule. A chap shouldn’t feel shame for enjoying sparkling wine; Similarly, ladies by simply ordering a Manhattan alone makes barmen fall in love.

We all drink whatever we can afford and prefer, it’s snobbish to dictate otherwise. However, we should drink better, not more and not necessarily more expensive.Cheers!


What’s your tipple?