Restaurant Review: London Fish & Chips, Covent Garden

London Fish & Chips –  First Plaice For Awkwardness

It would have been less awkward if Basil Fawlty was serving exclusively German customers. Three tables – six diners – everything went tits up. No pair received their food together; how can two ingredients go that wrong? As the restaurant is called London Fish & Chips, I expected them to have this bass base covered.

As a Lancastrian living near London, I physically can’t pay more than £10 for takeaway fish and chips. I didn’t care it was Covent Garden, even in Buckingham Palace, I couldn’t justify it. Fortunately, London Fish & Chips was available through a thrifty Groupon voucher, which made this transaction morally comprehensible to my northern sensibilities.

Despite London Fish & Chips having zero queue, it took thirty minutes to produce two of the eponymous meals. A meal, to clarify which was 50% potato. I assumed this was from a standing start of peeling the spuds and turning the fryer on. While waiting, I scanned London Fish & Chips promotional placards proudly proclaiming their fish was ethically and sustainably sourced; excellent, and was warmly advised all their meat was Halal. What a comfort knowing their “Signature Taste of Britain”, was barbarically butchered purely for Allah’s gratification.

Redeemabley, their glorious fish and chips were as good as any I can remember. Likewise, the accompanying succulent prawns induced a deluge of saliva. I deemed it a national disgrace all chip shops didn’t also serve these muscular crustaceans. It was all golden, piping-hot goodness: the batter was crunchier than a Crunchie and the haddock was a hulking athlete of a sea-monster. The steaming, salty chips were piled high, and I got happier and happier, getting fatter and fatter. It was all so jolly good I belted out the national anthem.

Despite London Fish & Chips’ interior feeling like an eleven-year old’s bedroom, Covent Garden produced a serious rival to the fish and chip heavyweight Whitby – I even forgave the lack of gravy.

London Fish & Chips Review Summary

Atmosphere 1/10    Cost 3/10   Quality 10/10    Service 1/10*

*Score is based on the general price, not the temporary discount

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