Bar Review: Crazy Bear, Beaconsfield

Can’t Bear The Crazy Prices

The elusive and exclusive Crazy Bear Beaconsfield had intrigued me for some time. Their glitzy website extolled baroque glamour; ironically, the entrance and exterior re-defined nondescript. I had previously walked passed Crazy Bear Beaconsfield on several occasions, in complete ignorance that a five-star hotel sat hidden in plain view. Going through the ironically featureless doorway, one would never anticipate the extravagant bonanza waiting behind.

The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield unique interior – the lovechild of Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and Marie Antoinette – is not to everyone’s taste. In my heightened sense of camp giddiness, I very much enjoyed it. If there were an award (and there should be) for ‘Bar With The Best Smoking Area’, it would win hands down. The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield no doubt offered a sense of theatre: this was not the time nor place for two pints of larger and a packet of crisps. There was a lot going; a restaurants downstairs, annexedxed buildings offered country-chic private dining, while the lavatories were a spectacle in themselves.

The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield Cocktail Menu was top drawer: very classic without being stale. But here is my gripe – the clientele did not appreciate real cocktails. The ladies who lunch only drank Pornstar Martinis (yay a passion fruit), Strawberry Daiquiris (yay a strawberry) or a Cosmopolitans (yay nostalgic DVD Box-Set). Make no mistake, the Crazt Bear Beaconsfield bar staff knew what they were doing: all the hard-hitting cocktails hit the spot. The Manhattans were carefully crafted and the Martinis as good as anywhere. I just lamented that the bar staff’s commendable enthusiasm was largely unappreciated.

Regarding value, at £15 per drink, a boozy night in the Crazy Bear Beaconsfield is expensive – unjustifiably so in my opinion. If you are a camp millionaire, it’s bang up your proverbial. The abundance of multimillion pound properties in Beaconsfield suggested drinkers probably were. For out-of-towners who’ve had one too many (or gotten lucky) and need to discreetly stay the night, on site accommodation is easily arranged (for £450).

The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield
Review Summary

Atmosphere 8/10    Cost 2/10    Quality 10/10    Service 10/10

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