Category: Bar Review

Castaways and Lovers meet,
Then kiss in Tropicana’s heat,
Watch the waves break on the bay.
Soft white sands, a blue lagoon,
Cocktail time, a summer’s tune,
A whole night’s holiday!

Sorry…

If your bar requires constructive criticism and promotion, I have an empty stomach and a car full of petrol ready. Discretion is assured; bribes are happily accepted.

All photographs and words are my own: I endeavour to review fairly, taking into account the bars’ costs, levels of trade and intended target market.

Bar Review: Crazy Bear, Beaconsfield

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Can’t Bear The Crazy Prices

The elusive and exclusive Crazy Bear Beaconsfield had intrigued me for some time. Their glitzy website extolled baroque glamour; ironically, the entrance and exterior re-defined nondescript. I had previously walked passed Crazy Bear Beaconsfield on several occasions, in complete ignorance that a five-star hotel sat hidden in plain view. Going through the ironically featureless doorway, one would never anticipate the extravagant bonanza waiting behind.

The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield unique interior – the lovechild of Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and Marie Antoinette – is not to everyone’s taste. In my heightened sense of camp giddiness, I very much enjoyed it. If there were an award (and there should be) for ‘Bar With The Best Smoking Area’, it would win hands down. The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield no doubt offered a sense of theatre: this was not the time nor place for two pints of larger and a packet of crisps. There was a lot going; a restaurants downstairs, annexedxed buildings offered country-chic private dining, while the lavatories were a spectacle in themselves.

The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield Cocktail Menu was top drawer: very classic without being stale. But here is my gripe – the clientele did not appreciate real cocktails. The ladies who lunch only drank Pornstar Martinis (yay a passion fruit), Strawberry Daiquiris (yay a strawberry) or a Cosmopolitans (yay nostalgic DVD Box-Set). Make no mistake, the Crazt Bear Beaconsfield bar staff knew what they were doing: all the hard-hitting cocktails hit the spot. The Manhattans were carefully crafted and the Martinis as good as anywhere. I just lamented that the bar staff’s commendable enthusiasm was largely unappreciated.

Regarding value, at £15 per drink, a boozy night in the Crazy Bear Beaconsfield is expensive – unjustifiably so in my opinion. If you are a camp millionaire, it’s bang up your proverbial. The abundance of multimillion pound properties in Beaconsfield suggested drinkers probably were. For out-of-towners who’ve had one too many (or gotten lucky) and need to discreetly stay the night, on site accommodation is easily arranged (for £450).

The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield
Review Summary

Atmosphere 8/10    Cost 2/10    Quality 10/10    Service 10/10

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Beaconsfield

Bar Review: Stratos, Preston

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Stratos Bar – Preston’s Best Cocktails

Stratos is justifiably not a budget bar; nowhere in Preston is as attractively designed and fitted. Drinkers who behave themselves early doors, receive complimentary aperitivos – thanks to Stratos, visitors from Burnley can now recognise tapenade. Plus, nowhere else in Preston is open until 3 am with no entry free, with flesh and blood DJs, not iPods.

Stratos, Kuckoo and Forum are the only progressive bars in Preston shaking quality cocktails. The vast majority are £6.50, contain double premium spirits and often unusual ingredients – this price point is rare in Manchester and extinct in London. If you think Stratos is poor value, get out more. Something masquerades as similar in Yates or Revolution, but is predictably sweet, on a sticky table, in a cheap glass without a garnish, but with a 2005 playlist. Spend another £2 and drink something to enjoy, not something to later vomit.

Stratos’ bar staff unpretentiously graft, pushing Preston kicking and screaming to the next level of boozing. If you drink Cosmopolitans through a straw, think Daiquiris only exist with strawberries, and regard Mojitos as exceptionally exotic, converse with the passionate and knowledgeable Stratos’ bar staff. Likewise, if you’ve had more than your fair share of drams, Stratos staff are always happy to learn more.

The real value of Stratos is their willingness to develop customers tastes for those unaware of the great products available, and the ability to cater for the seasoned drinker. A Preston bar where customers can forfeit a menu entirely, forming a relationship with the staff is progress. Regardless of how manically busy Stratos gets, they will craft drinks to your individual tastes. This level of enthusiasm to learning and promoting cocktails is unmatched, making Stratos the best cocktail bar in Preston. (The food’s not bad either).

Stratos Bar Review Summary

Atmosphere 10  Cost 8  Quality 9 Service 10

Stratos Preston Bar Restaurant Review
Stratos – Still Preston’s Best
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Stratos – Still Preston’s Best
Stratos - Still Preston's Best
Stratos – Still Preston’s Best
Stratos - Still Preston's Best
Stratos – Still Preston’s Best

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Bar Review: White Stone, Cagliari

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White Stone – In The Holiday Spirit

White Stone Bar sat on the busy Piazza Yenna –  Cagliari Marina District’s focal point. It provided perfect people-watching potential, made all the more attractive by very reasonable prices. Be warned: everywhere in Cagliari, music is hideously inconsistent, fluctuating between naff and painful. Think MTV dance hits, intertwined with a Phil Collins medley nobody wanted. Fortunately, there was ample seating outside, mostly free of irritation.

Given White Stone Bars low cost relative to the UK, it would be unkind to be too critical. I visited three times in three days – they did something right. That said, there was plenty of room for improvement. ‘Bourbon Sour’ was made with Irish blended whisky. Everything arrived with a completely unnecessary cherry. The margaritas were undrinkable. They weren’t blends

‘Bourbon Sours’ were made with Irish blended whisky. Everything arrived with a completely unnecessary cherry. The margaritas were undrinkable. They weren’t blends of tequila, lime and triple sec – just tequila with lime wafted over the glass for ceremonial purposes. Crucially, White Stone Bar’s consistency of drinks between servers was laughable. Even the same drink, made by the same person, in the same evening, differed considerably.

However, the size of the pour was gigantic. The Weights & Measures Act of 1985 evidently hadn’t reach Cagliari. The Negroni was intimidating, taking me all afternoon to tackle. I appreciate Italian’s love bitter flavours, but I’d consumed 500ml of Campari after three cocktails. I like an occasional bitter drink, but not to be pummelled mercilessly by them. I hoped Stockholm Syndrome would kick in, so I could perversely come to welcome my aperitif abuse, but sadly it never did.

Thankfully, White Stone Bar wasn’t just quantity over quality. Despite its tacky name, the ‘Between The Sheets’ cocktail was an ironically classy drink. By some miracle, it dodged the ever zealous Campari, although couldn’t survive the obligatory cherry. The sophisticated combination of cognac, rum, triple sec and lemon juice was rather wonderful. An excellent Mojito benefited from mint and lime swollen by the sun’s loving rays. A pleasing frothy, beautifully balanced Pina Colada was perfect on a late summer afternoon. White Stone Bar’s free aperitivos were in plentiful supply, and their budget buffet offered vegetable lasagne and vibrant salads, that were embarrassingly delicious for their low cost.

White Stone Bar pertained to being a proper cocktail bar but lacked the attention to detail required to be one. However, White Stone Bar genuinely friendly staff shouldn’t be unacknowledged, who were happy to chat in broken English, despite my shameful inability to meet them halfway.

White Stone Bar Review Summary

Atmosphere 8  Cost 10  Quality 4  Service 9

White Stone Bar Cagliari Review
The Holiday Spirit

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Cagliari