Tag: Chinese

Restaurant Review: Peachy Keens, Manchester

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Keenly Priced But Far From Peachy

First impressions of the bizarrely named Peachy Keens Manchester were positive: bright, clean, but juvenile. With over thirty starters, the variety on offer was quite astounding; yet, restaurants trying to be everything become nothing – Peachy Keens Manchester was no exception. I self-righteously tittered at the giant ‘ORIENTAL’ neon sign looming over the school canteenesque dining room, and queried the authenticity of ‘Fish Fingers’ listed under ‘Italian Starters’. This cacophony of branding strangled any potential atmosphere although may appeal to a younger demographic.

Peachy Keens Manchester’s food was disappointing; although, given the exceptionally frugal price, expectations should have been no higher than ‘edible’. The assortment of sushi all tasted the same e.g. of nothing. The Salad Bar was OK but punctuated by tasteless olives and unpleasant cheese. Peachy Keens Manchester’s hot wings were predictably far from hot, rendering themselves redundant. The “Grill Section” masqueraded as a legitimate piece of kitchen equipment – it warmed grey lumps up – rather than cooking steaks to order. My steak was impossible to cut, let alone digest by a human. The Lamb Rogan Josh was ungodly,  smelling like Satan’s left over takeaway; after I was too terrified to return for hot food.

Peachy Keens Manchester’ desserts were either sickly or luminous – the pastry chef made Ronald McDonald look like Michel Roux. Things resembling Aftershock were avoided and ice creams were a psychedelic dripping mess; although, neatly formed miniature cheesecakes were surprisingly edible and in endless supply.

I was amicably greeted, seated and warmly bid farewell to; but, the Peachy Keens Manchester staff were impressively morose. However, the team were organised, with plates quickly materialising and disappearing when required.

Peachy Keens Manchester offered all-you-can-eat food for the price of a nearby swanky cocktail: nobody can ask for better value. Furthermore, Peachy Keens Manchester provided the ultimate in variety and convenience, perfect for young families or groups with differing dietary requirements. Unfortunately, the food ranged from acceptable to offensive.

Peachy Keens Manchester
Review Summary

Atmosphere 3  Cost 10  Quality 2  Service 4

Find Peachy Keens
Manchester

Restaurant Review: Face Chinese Restaurant, Preston

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Face – Needs A Little Lift

Following the flurry of fabulous reviews, I popped into the peculiarly named Face restaurant with high expectations. I was ardently greeted by an older Chinese gentleman, who I suspected of harbouring great esoteric wisdom, but modestly kept the exchange to a warm welcome.

I cunningly sneaked in just before the Early Bird Menu deadline, which provided excellent value for money. With such reasonable prices, Face would need to serve Sweet N’ Sour E-Coli for me not to return.

First impressions were that Face was bright and clean – a shiny face if you will. Ultimately it was all very predictable. There was nothing wrong with the decor, but Preston City Centre cried out for something less ubiquitous. Unfortunately, the atmosphere was drowned by the surrounding sea of empty tables. However, a flurry of ladies proceeded to glide around, providing the most efficient and polite service imaginable.

Like Hong Kong itself, the menu was exciting and diverse. Mercifully, unlike every other Lancashire Chinese restaurant, the menu didn’t overwhelm. It contained ingredients not found anywhere except Nigella Lawson’s pantry, so Face provided a good excuse to eat out. Lesser known Hong Kong dishes such as Frog’s Legs created a talking point if nothing else. Dishes like Lotus Seed Buns, Blackbean Chicken Feet and Beancurd Rolls gave the impression of authenticity. That said, the Deep Fried Mussels felt like a Scotsman’s idea of pescetarianism.

The piping hot food materialised quickly but consisted primarily of salt and sugar. I was giddily happy. I’m no health freak, sodium chloride and I are best buddies; however, drinking three litres of Coca-Cola to remedy it got tiresome. This kind of dining was good-time food, the MSG filled my veins and my little brain lit up. Despite my opiate like stupor, I didn’t forget other local restaurants outclass it.

Face Chinese Restaurant
Review Summary

Atmosphere 4  Cost 10  Quality 6  Service 9

Face Chinese Restaurant Preston
Deep Fried Mussel
*Since this review was first published, Face Chinese Restaurant is unfortunately no longer with us – hence the lack of link*

Restaurant Review: The Chinese Buffet, Preston

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The Chinese Buffet – You Dim Sum You Lose Sum

Despite the no-nonsense name, The Chinese Buffet in Preston suffered from an identity crisis. Set on the extremity of the charmless Fishergate Centre, with a panoramic view of nothing, in particular, it struggled to gain a sense of character. The Chinese Buffet is 9,200 square metres, spread over three stories, which didn’t help create an ambience. The music was an incredible mix of Eurovision song contest B-Sides, poorly mixed with vaguely East Asian melodies.

The Chinese Buffet staff were very pleasant and polished; with everything seemingly coordinated with precision. The choice of dishes available was certainly impressive. The Chinese Buffet offered a range of soups, rice dishes, noodle dishes, vegetarian options and a plethora of enigmatic deep-fried objects. If I tried everything I’d be dead by now; regardless I gave it a good go. The Kung Po Chicken, Vegetarian Fried Soft Noodles, Chicken Curry and Singapore Vermicelli were comforting if not a little salty. There were more flavours than I could shake a chopstick at, and certainly more than something for everyone. I guiltily pounced on the chips but had enough self-respect to decline the Cocktail Sausages. Chilled salads, fruits and cakes were a bit of an afterthought; however, I appreciated their presence.

All the plates were reassuringly hot and all surfaces pleasingly clean. This restaurant was doing plenty right, and clearly well organised. Preston’s Chinese Buffet could do without some of the Anglo-influences such as Chicken Nuggets and Pancake Pastries; however, for those with young children, there was certainly something for everyone.

The Chinese Buffet says it has the explicit aim of providing a new style of buffet restaurant (e.g. not terrible), with high-quality food at a low cost, which to be fair they do. Refined dining it isn’t, however, for tired shoppers or hung-over students, Chinese Buffet offers great value.

The Chinese Buffet Preston
Review Summary

Atmosphere 3/10    Cost 10/10    Quality 6/10    Service 7/10

*Since this review was first published, The Chinese Buffet Preston is unfortunately no longer with us –   hence the lack of link*