Category: Restaurant Review

If your restaurant requires constructive criticism and promotion, I have an empty stomach and a car full of petrol ready. Discretion is assured; bribes are happily accepted.

All photographs and words are my own: I endeavour to review fairly, considering restaurants’ cost, level of trade and intended target market.

Restaurant Review: Beef & Pudding, Manchester

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Beef & Pudding – The Steaks Were High

Beef & Pudding is yet another relatively expensive, retro styled gourmet burger hot spot, something in danger of becoming a Manchester cliche. Thankfully I don’t think Beef & Pudding will fall prey to this if it stays true to its great branding and focus on British produce. A lot of thought had gone into the décor; it was contemporary with a nod to the traditional. It’s all shiny tiles, tasteful lighting and a muted colour palette. It was everything I want my flat to be like but totally isn’t. Everything’s tasteful and nothing’s tacky. Without wanting to (literally) bring up bad blood, it’s sobering to remember for a moment, the dismal days of the mid-nineties British beef industry, and how distant they now feel.

Beef & Pudding’s menu was well put together, concise and everything looked tempting. It was almost entirely British; something fabulous and rare in equal measure. I found it rather amusing when I asked for some French mustard, and the server returned with Coleman’s and an apology. I suspect it was only because I generously tipped that I wasn’t barred.

I wanted to love the food, but it felt short of being great. Unless you’re Fat Bastard from Austin Powers, you won’t argue with Beef & Pudding’s portions. The black pudding worked with the punchy curry spices but was one dimensional as every mouthful was identical. Similarly, the pig’s cheek was anonymous in the very rich but tasty gravy. The B&P burger had that proper chargrilled meaty taste missing from cheap burgers but was nevertheless quite dry. The ‘proper’ chips were Manchester’s best, but no doubt knocked a week of my life expectancy. Even so, I’d order them again. Beef & Pudding was udderly Nothern food to be proud of, but it lacked finesse in places.

Beef & Pudding
Review Summary

Atmosphere 8  Cost 6  Quality 7  Service 8

Beef and Pudding Manchester Restaurant Review
Brilliant chips if nothing else
Beef and Pudding Manchester Restaurant Review
Pigs Cheek; exceptional gravy but the pig itself was largely absent
  • *Since this review was first published, Beef & Pudding is unfortunately no longer with us – hence the lack of link*

Restaurant Review: Arts Club, Liverpool

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Arts Club Liverpool –  Scouse Hipster Hangout

The East Village Arts Club was minimally designed, covered with neutral tones and exposed natural finishes. I loved the mixture of materials, cleanness of lines and little curiosities. All this created a stylishly urban atmosphere: it was a hipster hangout, but a genuinely good one. With acts as diverse and genuine as Kano, to We Are Scientists, The Arts Club Liverpool was both a day and night spot in equal measure.

Regarding The Arts Club food, the Suicide Chicken Wings were not so much suicidal but a cry for help. They were tasty enough, but the tiny wings were smothered in a tangy tomato sauce not hard-core enough for heat-junkies. The Crispy Deep Fried Calamari had flavour but were an oily flaccid pile. The Sheepish Burger, a lamb patty with fennel, yogurt and mint salsa was deliciously herby, and will be consumed again. The Truffle Shuffle was a vegan’s nightmare: seasoned patty, ladled with pulled pork and chipotle sauce, topped with a fried egg. It wasn’t without its meaty charms, but was on the dry side of delicious. The skinny fries were crack-cocaine level moreish – I saved a few and sold them by the gram outside. During the ‘penniless & destitute’ 50% off promotion, the East Village represented superb value. I’m not saying I wouldn’t return for food, but the promotion significantly added to its appeal.

The Arts Club lack of drinks menus was inconvenient, but a smooth and delicate rum old-fashioned was helpfully suggested. At £9 it was expensive considering main courses were £4. However, I did ask for a recommended (given the lack of menu), and it was made using better quality ingredients than your standard Bacardi and Captain Morgan nonsense.

Service at Arts Club Liverpool was excellent throughout, with a friendly and conversational gentleman on hand when needed. East Village was a cool place in the heart of Liverpool, for a drink and a game of chess. The bearded are especially welcome.

Arts Club Liverpool
Review Summary

Atmosphere 10  Cost 9  Quality 6  Service 9

Arts Club: Burger, Old Fashioned, Chess - wonderful
Arts Club: Burger, Old Fashioned, Chess – wonderful

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Restaurant Review: Langs of Longton, Near Preston

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Langs of Longton – Never Disappoints 

I was comfortably seated in Langs of Longton bar-come-quarantine area, overlooked by an imposing television, bizarrely playing a muted David Jason rerun (sadly not Danger Mouse). I assumed the silent flashing images kept the more docile Longton diners amused during busy periods.

The Langs of Longton décor and ambience needed work: the generous littering of bold red flowers, sharp monochrome furniture and harsh black finishes appealed only to Cruella De Vil. Fangs would be more appropriate sign above the door. I could live with the interior design if it were consistent, but part vaudeville, part Ikea, mixed vertical stripes, patterned carpets, canvases a la Changing Rooms circa 1999 and contemporary lighting was restaurant schizophrenia.

A stocky bold gentleman, ‘Ross Kemp on Langs‘, orchestrated the service efficiently. He was charmingly on first name terms with most of The Langs of Longton diners – a reassuring sign of happy clientele. I was lead to the thoughtfully laid out large dining room, with a partially open kitchen providing a vibrancy to the restaurant.

Slurping the Las Valles (Spanish house red), trying to recognise the supposed ‘intense fruit on the palate’, I eyed the window ledges lined with promotional bottles of sealed but empty champagne bottles. The decorations reminded diners that yes – don’t take our word for it – champagne is sold here. I had flashbacks of student filled Plungington, Fallowfield and Wavertree and proudly displayed Jack Daniels bottles and pyramids of Carlsberg empties.

Enough chit-chat and on to the food: it was all excellent and presented beautifully. The black pudding – tragically never the belle of the ball – looked as good as it ever could. The streak of vibrant sweet potato was attractively set against a warm black slate; it was hearty without being stodgy, perfectly seasoned and cooked. The fishcakes had a great balance of flavours and kept their texture admirably. The gammon was generously portioned and attractively presented; perhaps not carrying a huge depth of flavour, but certainly succulent and tasty. The homemade ketchup, poached egg, chunky chips, wilted greens and mustard cream were all greedily but gratefully shovelled in. The beer battered haddock goujons with peas à la français, tartare sauce, skinny chips, was thankfully grease-free and wolfed down. The sushi was carefully prepared and pretty as a proverbial. The assiette of desserts was unusual and charming. Deserts shouldn’t take themselves too seriously, (leave that to the starters), and this had a welcome fun element.

The Langs of Longton kitchen was very big on miniature stuff. Almost every dish had an obligatory small thing, to make you scrunch your cheeks up and feel broody. Want chips? There’s a miniature chip pan for that sir! Any vegetable sides? Use the dwarf sized copper-pots! Serving a risotto? No fear, the micro skillet is here! Coulis Madam? Got it: shot glass! What isn’t miniature are the portions. After three courses I didn’t feel so much full but heavily pregnant. I had meat-sweat hallucinations of Langs of Longton morphing into a maternity ward, which I felt strangely grateful for.

Langs of Longton provided slap-up dinners (whatever that means), at reasonable prices. There are few restaurants that compete with Langs of Longton for value, especially considering their high quality of cooking, across a surprising range of dishes. The décor wasn’t my cup of tea, but the friendly organised service and attention to detail on the plate (or slate) certainly was.

Bravo!

Langs of Longton
Review Summary

Atmosphere 6  Cost 10  Quality 8  Service 9

Langs of Longton Restaurant Review
Langs, Preston – Great Value

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